(BPD) Borderline Personality Disorder – Dangerous Personalities by Joe Navarro

(BPD) Borderline Personality Disorder – Dangerous Personalities by Joe Navarro

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In this pre-introduction, the word narcissist
is used as reference to all “cluster B personality disorders” i.e. narcissistic, borderline,
histrionic and sociopathic. Are narcissistic people aware of their syndrome? The self-awareness of the narcissist is relative
to his subjective definition of the term narcissism. Mention that he’s narcissistic, and he will
proudly agree. Mention that he’s a manipulative freak, and
he will deny promptly. It appears that he assigns the word narcissism
with positive qualities like prestige high self esteem and assertiveness rather than
arrogance or craftiness. However conscious of his narcissistic traits,
his mind backwards rationalizes these in a positive fashion. To you, he’s a thief for stealing your savings. He didn’t steal, in his eyes, he simply did
justice by ripping away what didn’t belong to the weakling. Quite absurd? that’s how they reason unfortunately. Along with this distorted self-concept, narcissists
are also fully aware that people’s perception of them can change after a while. They realize that they’re only skilled at
shaping short-lived relations, as people tend to distance themselves when their facade is
shed deep into a relationship. Yet again, the blame is placed on others not
themselves, deluded that people run away, not because the narcissist is unbearable,
but for every person he meets is unable to stand his awesomeness. So they keep on meeting new people, jumping
here & there, with the misconception that one day, they’re going to meet some sort of
a soul mate who’s as perfect and reflective of their supreme, blinding presence. At last, the narcissist’s positive self-perception
remains static despite the changes that could occur to others’ perception of him. A Narcissistic personality is well equipped
for making good first impressions. Other than that, they struggle to maintain
a long term bonding unless the partner or the friend sees the narcissist only once in
a while and therefore remains in the dark about his true self. A somewhat long-term distant relationship. If their perception of themselves & the world
around them is completely flawed, should you be over-empathetic, appease them like dummies
and let them walk all over you, simply because they have a personality disorder? Absolutely not. These people surely are able to distinguish
right from wrong. Just as they realize not to touch a stove
when it is heating to avoid self-harm so they should be able to realize & refrain from
potential harmful actions toward others. In spite of this, they, choose to do the wrong
thing deliberately. The degree of this quote on quote “syndrome-awareness”
may vary from one person to another. In any case, you have no obligation to be
empathetic and enabling towards a self-aware or non-self-aware emotional vampire. EUPD is a personality disorder that encompasses
two subtypes: The first is: THE IMPULSIVE TYPE. The second is the borderline, which is more
severe but both are equally debilitating. We’ll be looking at cases from tolerable to
psychotic, illustrating the whole spectrum. As we go through the character traits of this
persona, try to recall someone you know who might correspond with them. Throughout the video, note that the pronouns
“he” and “she” are going to be used interchangeably as well as the terms “borderline” and “emotionally
unstable”. TRAIT ONE — HYPERSENSITIVE Behavior 1- intolerant to criticism, real
or perceived slights. 2- Quick to feel victimized, especially when
blamed. 3- Prone to thrust out false accusations of
disloyalty based on unfounded suspicions. In a group setting, if they miss the point
of a joke, they will pester you to further elaborate Should you not do so, they’ll get butt-hurt
assuming how the joke held a hidden meaning meant to one up on them. This may seem minor, but imagine how irritating
it would be if repeated daily especially when you know deep-down that your intentions
were good. This behavior may constrain others to tip-toe
around this personality, to self-filter or keep silent most of the time, but even your
lack of words may trigger suspicion. There is no way round the hypersensitivity
of the emotionally unstable. Should their friends go to the movies or to
party without notice, the next day, they would accuse them of a deliberate omission, intended
to isolate the emotionally unstable to bad-mouth her BEHAVIOR 2: “victims in search of an oppressor”
This person is notorious for collecting grudges. He’s always on the look for slight mistreatment,
unintentional forgetfulness, which will be used as defence against any future blame,
or may be exaggerated to create exciting drama. He or she is liable to bring up instances
from the past of some “faux pas” you did emphasizing how much ill-will driven you are. They’re often unforgiving and may have lengthy
lists of things that conceivibly were intended to harm them. Victimhood and denial is palpable every time
their mistakes are pointed out. TRAIT TWO — NEEDY AND DEMANDING, WITHOUT
BOUNDRIES: What they need is of utmost priority. Careless of your feeling discomfort, they
transgress your personal space, or try & influence your decisions, just to mine their wants from
you in time. Self-reliance seems occasional. When they need you, it means they need you
IMMEDIATELY, and if left unserved, await long & bitter disputes. Behavior 1: have a childlike need to feel
special. They either crave the spotlight (like the
narcissistic) or yearn for your undivided attention, and may seek to grasp it by several
wicked maneuvers. For instance, the wife who propagates to her
husband’s colleages or family that he is bad-mouthing them, to create contention & divisiveness,
garner his undivided ATTENTION in return. A quite subtle, poisonous tactic. If you suspect someone you just met as emotionally
unstable, it’s best to avoid introducing them to your clique untill further examination
proves otherwise. I recall dating this girl for a couple days. On our first meeting, I had to meet-up with
my buddies beforehand, but made sure I had sufficient time for her. And so we met. A few minutes in the conversation, she questioned
how was my day, irritated to hear that I met other people before joining her, bursted out
loudly: “Was it really necessary to hang out with your friends before our date? why don’t you just dedicate a whole day for
me?” and I could tell by the earnest tone that she wasn’t kidding. The underlying communication is she wanted
undivded, unshared attention. If things had escalated to a relationship,
spending time with my family, to her, would be conceived as cheating. I peronally do not gauge someone as emotionally
unstable from one single symptom they’ve displayed, but the weird vibes persisted in subsequent
meetings with this girl, which had evidently raised my suspicion. BEHAVIOR 2: “Excessive Flattery”
On your primary encounter with such personality, you”ll probably feel some sort of high around
them, due to their relentless idealizing. They will shower you with praize in an a infantile
sort of way, exaggerating unrealistic qualities and blabbering about how perfect you are. That first day lasted less than fourty minutes
and soon after I had her text me a lenghthy, dramatic paragraph on how magical & liberating
she felt beside my presence. Beware, for you’ve been complemented day-in
& day-out, now they anticipate you act as they please, compensating their niceness for
you by serving their needs. And because we humans have a strong tendency
not to disappoint, it’s unfortunate how many can fall for this maneuver. It’s as though they’re distributing free poison
elixirs. Take a sip and turn a slave. – But let’s say you did cater for them. Fail them in the slightest, their idol becomes
the enemy; they’ll overlook any good you did them in the past and aim only on that one
trivial mistreatment. BEHAVIOR 3: “DEMANDING WITHOUT BOUNDARIES”
This lad places heavy demand on your personal resources turning a blind eye to boundaries
or social norms. A key nuance here, the narcissistic will do
so out of arrogant entitlement, the emotionally unstable, out of desperate dependence. As a doctor, expect their barging in without
official notice, disregarding the people in line and insisting for an immediate treatment. If asked to calm down and schedule an appointment
beforehand, an outburst of righteous indignation ensues. Another thing you’ll notice are the frequent
emails, calls or text messages you’ll get, oblivious of your busyness with work or family. Recall, the marked pattern is how swift they
can shift from overt idealization to furious rage whenever rejected or asked to go by the
rules. BEHAVIOR 4: “VANDALISM, BLACKMAILING, SABOTAGING,
STALKING, if not keep mentioning” Persons of extreme emotional instability will
overlook laws as their manners peak to outrageous behavior. If you’re an ex-lover, friend, anticipate
their sending acrimonious texts, breaking into your work-place to argue about a past
relationship, or inflicting damage to cars and personal property. This demeanour might be rooted in their inability
to move on, which is intertwined with their having long lists of unforgivable grievances. Oftentimes, jealousy could drive them to sabotage
your next date, telling them how much of a whore or asshole you are, and that your potential
partner should be on his guard around you. If you’re still in contact as a lover, or
if this person is your parent, their common conduct would be to test your loyalty. You’ll witness childish games like spending
their pastime eavedroping, surveiling, stalking, making sure you won’t cheat or talk behind
their back. Be watchful, for they might go as far as to
install hidden cameras or softwares that fish for your online credentials. lying is a core feature for some borderlines. One quite intriguing story by the author accounts
for a women who reported being sexually abused three times in a row, in a city where rape
proportions are minimal. The local department spent tons of money on
investigative search, jailing innocent people as potential suspects, only to discover at
last that it was all made up. At times when she felt needy, this women would
phone 911 or paramedics and feign a rape allegation, which would prompt the police to assign her
an advocate, and a detective, not to mention the relatives who’d leave their jobs & kids
to rally up around her for weeks. All this for what? the borderline’s yearning for everlasting
attention. TRAIT THREE — MANIPULATIVE: Apart from lying (or feigning illnesses),
to get their way, the emotionally unstable may have numerous manipulative methods under
their belt. The most cunning that you need to be familiar
with are suicide threats. Please engrave this in mind: Whether the suicide
attempt is feigned or real, your first reaction is to tell the person that you’re going to
call 911, then, do so without reluctance. You will find that while you are dialing the
number, they will usually back away. But don’t wait for them to do so. The second they seemingly gesture to, or mention
of suicide, call an ambulance promptly. Do not wait, do not hesitate. Self-harm attempts, feigned or real should
always be taken seriously. By reaching out to a professional, you will
have conveyed to the unstable person that you have not allowed yourself to be manipulated. And by doing so, it’s unlikely that they will
repeat the act for you have proven your ability to handle the situation. What you shouldn’t do is cater to their needs
or beg them in hope that they will back away from the suicide attempt. They won’t. Rule of thumb: what you tolerate, is what
you habituate, and especially with this type of people. Now unlike the narcissistic, setting strict
boundaries and showing that you can deal with their behavior effectively tames the emotionally
unstable personality. In fact, their demeanour will change towards
you in particular, for you’ve proven to be more crafty than they are. Next time, they’ll think twice before endeavouring
such cheesy tricks on you. So, remember, manipulative acts you might
encounter include lying, conniving, crying, flirting overtly, fuming, and suicidal gestures
which should always be treated by calling a professional without a second thought. I had an emotionally unstable girlfriend at
the age of fifteen. The experience was quite devastating yet informative,
specially as I see it today. This girl had traumatized me in so many ways
but the one thing I had vividly recalled while reading this book is the moment she began
using my emotional attachment to her advantage. One day, she had threatened that I should
go buy her drugs from a dangerous neighborhood or else she would end the relationship. At the time, I was young and naive, but now
that I’m quite conscious and can analyze the situation, I would have to admit, this person
was f*cking nuts for a fifteen year old! Not only risking her health by turning to
drugs, but exploiting my deepest feelings for her to coax me into what? placing My life at stake in the ghetto to
get HER way! The lesson here; realize that you’re at the
heights of vulnerability & suggestibility when infatuated. (5.0) As mentioned, the level of chaos they could
cause sits on a spectrum. Some are less destructive than others. In psychotic instances, the person, not having
been provided with his needs through successful manipulation, will reach out to violence,
sometimes ending in murderous crimes. TRAIT FOUR — IRRATIONAL, ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING: BEHAVIOR 1: “Reacts emotionally rather than
logically when stressed or critiqued” They cannot be reasoned with. Most of their reactions & decisions are driven
by irrationality & visceral compulsion. Self-contradiction is frequent, along with
their need for long-lasting groundless arguments. Any perceived slight or constructive criticism
would prompt a fuming eruption. Surprisingly, when there’s nothing to pick
up on, they would go to crazy length and start berating you for ordinary gestures, claiming
how the way you breath or walk implied offence. Often will you hear, “chilling out isn’t in
my nature”, that they can’t help but be their shitty, annoyingly argumentative selves. Should there be a debate between them and
a friend in common, or between their spouse, they will constrain you(as their child or
friend) to side with their opinion or else you’d be perceived as an enemy. In regards to this I previously mentioned
how the merest disappointment towards you erases any memories of your past good-deeds
and narrows their vision on that one tiny error. At such critical moments, nuanced judgements
cannot be entertained, either you’re good or bad, with or against them, all or nothing
thinking. Most borderlines have inflexible mentalities,
unwilling to change courses of action or welcome novel, opposing ideas. As far as this goes, cult leaders who can
provide a dogmatic set of rules that they could follow without questioning are compelling
to the emotionally unstable, especially charlatans who propagate beliefs that challenge the status-quo,
foster extreme or outrageous behavior(e.g. strange rituals, exhibitionism, etc). Even though the cult leader is clearly a psycho
murderer, persons with this disorder would think he’s sane & truthful, which make of
them a naive prey for voluntary exploitation, self-harm, or unthoughtful criminal acts. The borderline personality finds elation in
joining these secret meetings owing to the unconditional acceptance, sustained care,
and robust group bonding that they are unable to find in normal society. Sadly, in exchange for attention, they’d rather
have a sort of mad guru harness their will. TRAIT FIVE: IMPETUOUS, IMPULSIVE, SENSATION
SEEKING: BEHAVIOR 1: just make me feel sth! Because chronic emptiness governs their default
state, they cannot withstand lack of stimulation, will risk anything to get some, to fill the
void. To stimulate oneself, this person engages
in reckless spending, substance abuse, unprotected intercourse, sexual solicitation, gambling,
bulimia, shoplifting and is fairly notorious for getting arrested on the regular. He won’t hesitate to place his or your relationships,
finances at stake to reap a mere dose of dopamine. She literally goes nuts if she’s motionless,
hunted by all kinds of agonies and suspicions. There has to be something going on at all
times to serve as distraction! She longs for any kind of feeling; be it joyful,
on-going laughter or spiteful debates. Nevertheless, negative vibes bring about more
stimulation, and so she takes full advantage of her effortless skill at provoking arguments. She is constantly, (and I mean constantly)
on the look for the merest slight, for that’s her food for emotion. Even though you haven’t done anything, there
has to be something, every single day, that that crazy could pick up on & argue about,
for days. It may seem irrational to you, but to the
borderline, pure ecstasy is derived therefrom. QUOTE: “A very pathologically sadistic need
to injure, coupled with a masochistic need to partake in a cycle of acrimony and discord
so that they feel something.” – Joe navarro. Apart from arguing, the borderline creates
dramatic scenarios to water their emotional drought. Your emotionally unstable partner may flirt
overtly with your friends, bang them even, and ensure to make these acts so blatant & in
your face. They long for drama, and creating inter-personal
conflict between you & your relatives is only one notch ahead to molding a wondrous film. The borderline lover may lure your brother
or sister into having sex, argue that it was their fault, then beg you to stay because
they love you more than any. Let this sink in, they couldn’t care less
about the relationship. Their emotional needs met, that’s all that
matters. This is their primary goal from any type of
bonding. The emotionally unstable personality is by
nature notorious for intense relationships. Chaos is the only thing they have to offer. These pricks hear about loyalty only in books
& fairy tales. They could’ve convinced a dozen into a long-term
committment, deceiving each that they both share true love, all behind your back. They cannot withstand lack of attention. And so they’re unreluctant to beautify their
selfish need for company into a false love story, making use of your genuine affection
for them to fill the void. Nothing is a big deal when it comes to ridding
themselves of tedium; deliberate sexual exploitation, STD’s, unwanted pregnancies are just another
mere notch on the volume knob. I’d like to clarify that excessive flirting,
cheating and frequent sexual exploits are more common in Histrionic personality disorder
than in borderlines. However, given that both disorders can often
co-exist, the latter could pertain for the borderline as well. We’ll dive deeper into this in the co-morbidity
segment. At her worst level of instability, the borderline
can become easily attracted to law-breaking criminals, mingle with junkies, overdose or
get killed. BEHAVIOR 3: CHEMICAL DEPENDENCE
She holds grudges, easily affected by criticizm, is constantly suspicious of others, and continually
plotting for revenge. Anything that could serve as distraction to
stuff down this self-perpetuating cycle of unbearable spite, she will use it. Some BPD people can’t think straight without
having a shot every few minutes, I call this “chemically dependent decision making”
You may notice as well that she’s going to be always ready to try any sort of substance
cocktail with total obliviousness to the after-effects. Picking at scrabs, cutting or biting herself,
banging her head against the wall or pressing lit cigarettes onto her skin, the person with
this disorder would go to great length to trigger an emotion. Pleasure or pain ain’t dissimilar, just make
her feel something, anything, that’s what matters. SUMMARY OF TRAITS & BEHAVIORAL CUES HYPERSENSITIVE:
-intolerant to (constructive) criticism, real or perceived slights. -Deliberately misinterprets the meaning of
jokes to prompt an argument. -notorious for collecting grudges for future
debates. -Victims in search of an oppressor. -Accuses you of being rude when asked for
an apology. Turning the blame on you because you’re seemingly
making them feel bad about themselves by saying that they should be responsible for the havoc
they have caused. NEEDY AND DEMANDING, WITHOUT BOUNDRIES:
Their needs are prior to your schedule. Anticipate piles of calls & messages, unexpected
visits, etc. Causes divisiveness between you and your peers
through bad-mouthing to acquire your undevided attention. Is really pissed off to hear you’re unavailable. On a first date, they may praise you as the
most wonderful person they have ever encountered, declare love even. This is their ultimatum to garner as many
relationships, hence perpetual attention. And yes people often fall for it, for most
of us cannot resist such ego-flattery. The persons close to the borderline often
regard a remarkable pattern, that of rapid shifts from ideatlization to scorn & contempt,
especially when they don’t get their way. Extreme cases: Their disregard for boundaries
can reach acts of vandalism, sabotage, stalking, eavedroping, and hacking into your computer
searching for signs of disloyalty. Extreme cases: Lying is one tool in the toolbox
they use to get attention. Ready yourself for feigned illnesses, depressions,
eliciting pitty by narrating their (fake or real)abuse-stories, and last but not least,
making false allegations to the police that could reach even accusing you of molesting
your own children. They enjoy the spotlight of being surrounded
by lawyers, doctors, or detectives, and will risk making up dramatic false accusations
of injury, rape, crime, or what have you, simply to get their dose. MANIPULATIVE:
Deceitful instead of apologetic. Say they cause you trouble, they will bring
up every false excuse on the book to brainwash you into believing that you were the wrong
one for pointing out what “you perceived” as offensive. Most people end up yielding to the borderline’s
potent ability at flipping the script, deluding them that what he did, although abusive, was
actually no big of a deal. Every time you make their trouble slip through,
they’ll keep turning up the notch of abuse till callous acts like physical beatings become
the norm to you. To hinder this process, make sure you place
strict boundaries on what you may or may not allow around yourself in terms of behavior. Second, anticipate exaggerated & overt flirtatiousness
with you as a stranger or with your friends as a lover. Feigned or real suicide threats that should
be handled of course by promptly calling nine, one, one. They may threaten of leaving you. Extreme cases may threaten to kill you. Blends water with fire, i.e. being over-complementary
to cajole you & lure you back into abuse whenever they feel like they’re losing you. Had they locked you down again, then, they
switch to full abuse mode. And the cycle continues. Flips truth into lies or mixes the former
with the latter. Throws tantrums, weeps, fakes sadness, lies,
welcome! to the manipulation aresenal of the emotionally unstable. IRRATIONAL, ALL-OR-NOTHING THINKING:
Their logical side is moldy, they’re mainly emotional reasoners. Like he or she can be provided with all the
evidence that they did hurt you in some way, but since their emotions govern their thinking,
they may continue counter-arguing, despite having no proof to back it up. They just quote quote “feel” like they are
right. Zero rationality involved. Prone to make big decisions under the influence
of strong emotions or substances. Either you’re with them, or against them,
friend or foe. Although cunning, his irrationality & rigidity
makes a gullible fool out of the borderline. Can be easily seduced by cults, criminals
& charlatans who preach out dogmatism and outrageous mannerisms. In exchange for attention from the cult, the
emotionally unstable may be coaxed to self-harm, commit or be involved in crimes, and even
yield to willful exploitation. IMPULSIVE:
Unable to stand lack of stimulation or stillness. Often cannot stop talking or arguing merely
to evade the chronic emptiness they experience when things go silent. Recklessness that shows off in their excess
of spending, drinking, binge-eating, sexual exploits or solicitation, gambling & thieft. Straightforward or subtle verbal abuse is
usually used in the hope of causing you to react, so that they bite back ten times harder
& louder. Wouldn’t hesitate to cheat or flirt with your
friends, or make false allegations against you. Finds tremendous amusement in such scenarios
as they provide the borderline with raw sensations. Reason that the motives behind their seeking
partners & friendships is only to gain narcissistic supply, i.e. intense emotions & lasting attention. A means to an end merely you are in their
eyes. Quite often that BPD(borderline personality
disorder) patients are also diagnosed with innumerable addictions like online-chatting,
alcohol, drugs, and so forth. Last but least, induces physical harm to oneself
to jolt out a feeling, or to cope with daily challenges. The basic diagnostic criteria that most psychologists
use is based on number. How “many” character traits the person should
exhibit before we could call them crazy. As an example: two traits; tolerable. Three; moderate, and more is lethal. One or two are not enough to judge but sufficient
for you to turn alert, and further investigate until a third symptom shows up. This metric is surely practical, however to
a certain extent, for should we gauge not in terms of numerousness but frequency & degree
of behavior, a single personality trait per se can make a person extremely malicious. Example, someone can score 0% on all five
traits except of being cunningly manipulative at a hundred percent, which surely places
him on the psychotic end. Another could score a moderate rate of 20%
on all five traits, resulting in an overall score of a hundred, and he couldn’t be less
dangerous. The same metric can be applied to any of the
below sub-traits as well. Be creative with it. Another key point to add: Sometimes certain
traits dissapear in the person, making room for others to appear nevertheless. For instance, the person could experience
a period where he’s “manipulative per se”, but turn “only” impulsive, or “only” needy
in other periods. In short, there could be a back & forth alternation
between these traits, without affecting the person’s baseline level of dangerousness. ((This particular point will be further detailed
in a separate video.)) Tolerable emotionally unstable people are
the ones who’re quite often friendly, non-irritating, and may display certain traits but rarely,
like once every two weeks or once a month. They would score very low if assessed by the
first as well the second criteria. At that level, we could argue whether the
person is unstable at all. He might be merely negative from time to time. Or he might be just having a bad day and that
could’ve resulted in his sudden uncanny behavior. In either case, it’s vital to get your guard
up at the sight of any of the previously discussed behavioral querks or character traits. Recall as well, that dangerous ones could
operate through a veneer and may go as far as to experience good days, weeks, even months,
making them quite difficult to detect. Those are the ones who could quote on quote
“hold their shit together” for longer periods of time. New acquaintences discern nothing, but the
closest to them are the most tormented, for they may explode only deep into a relationship. Psychologists call these “HIGH FUNTIONING”
borderlines, the ones that are really skilled at hiding their instability. The following impacts may be felt in numerous
contexts; in the workplace, on a date, with family, etc. SENSATION ONE: WALKING ON EGG SHELLS
Their hypersensitivity constrains you to behave in an inauthentic fashion, e.g. monitoring
what comes out of your mouth, compromising your needs, appeasing & cajoling them like
children to avoid their wrath, scheduling your day in way to distance yourself. Another impact you’ll notice is a recurrent
energetic drainage. Dealing with their monsterous presence is
very exaustive of your willpower. Even when they’re not around you’re still
worrying, haunted by anticipations of the next trick they’re going to spring on you. SENSATION TWO; DERAILS YOU(from your path)
As he or she is always on your mind, you may start neglecting your ambitions. They leave you no room to care for yourself
any longer. Your whole life circles around this person
now. Guess who’s going to bail them out of jail
when they get in trouble? Obviously! But, even though you’re always the borderline’s
savior in such cases, they will undoubtedly format any memories of it at the sight of
a single mistreatment and bite back at you. An ungrateful burden, that’s what they are. The author also mentions of people having
been driven to hurt others, or take risks on behalf of the borderline. They literally drive you crazy. Irritability and impulsiveness you may develop. Someone greets you with a “good morning”,
and you may react negatively, for you’re no longer present, anxiously going about your
day, dreading your next encounter with that devilish being. The closest to the emotionally unstable often
deal with chronic stress, low-self esteem, sleep disorders and depression. In trait number two we’ve discussed how she
often alternates between demoralization & glorification. The second one couldn’t be less debilitating. The borderline can go over the top with her
shallow praise, allocating unrealitic qualities to you, pleasurably feeding into your ego. Stick around for long and you might turn into
a narcissist. SENSATION SIX: EMOTIONAL CONTAGION:
You’re often positive and detest arguments, but find it frequent that you get triggered
near “that” particular person, realize then, you’re at the presence of a high-conlift creature. You’ll notice behaving in ways you have never
behaved before, or feeling these weird, negative vibes that you find difficult to put into
words. You could dwell together for years, unbeknown
of your partner’s instability, or you may go as far as to forgive & overlook their blatant
abuse. Due to your (ambivalent) infatuation, keep
on rationalizing that they’re just quote on quote “a bit negative,” unaware that the longer
the relationship gets, the borderline’s behavior begins to reflect itself in the victim’s demeanour. “And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss
also gazes into you” – Nietzsche You should have vivid memories of regular,
callous beatings as the child of a borderline, often for no other reason than a sudden mood
swing. Families usually witness harmful objects getting
tossed in the air, broken plates, and guns being fired in some instances. Emotionally unstable males in particular are
more liable for recurrent physical violence against their wives. Chocking, punching, or burning spouses are
typical means for discharging their masochistic needs. This first segment was meant to plant in the
viewer’s psyche a mental image of what a borderline should look like. The character traits were detailed in a way
that they stick to mind and ease the discernibility of such evil beings. In the upcoming sequel will be diving even
deeper into the borderline personality with the concept of co-morbidity, the three phases
of unhealthy relationships, red flags and much more so stay tuned. Thanks for watching, part two will be uploaded
real soon.

100 comments

  1. I have bpd and I'm currently in a dbt group seeking help. There's nothing wrong with admitting you've probably hurt people with your mental illness. Actually it's more of a crime to dismiss such a chance to mend relationships with those you love. We all know we never asked for this, I didn't ask to be abused as a small child but that doesn't give me any right to inflict that pain on others. You want to heal properly? Expose your flaws, become uncomfortable with them, and then analyze and accept them and then apologize. I don't find this video threatening nor offensive. It shows me how not to be towards others and I'll take it as a way to learn others perspective (which those of us with bpd have issues with) and I'll take it as an objective view on a list of behaviours that I pray I never repeat again. And through dbt group, I'm confident I won't.

  2. I think you're confused about cluster b disorders and lumping them dangerously together. In my experience borderlines are emotionally unstable and easily triggered by others due to hypersensitivity to others emotions, while at the same time lacking a proper border between themselves and the other person . The narcissist, on the other hand, is very much in control of his or her emotions and uses empathy to manipulate others.

  3. You have very accurately described the behaviour of my mother in that video and I can very much relate to how you feel about this, since the traits described have had a terrible impact on me as well.
    However, I understand how people might get upset at the way you speak of this type of person, as you are pretty much defining that type as "the ultimate evil borderline", which can be pretty upsetting to some with BPD.

    You seem to be well educated on certain traits which an individual with this type of disorder might hold. Still I believe, that this is a pretty one-sided view, considering the different types of BPD and the different ways they are expressed and experienced.
    It seems to me, that your past relationship has lead you to focusing mainly on the things that negatively impacted you like: manipulation, accusations, hypersensitivity and other ones. I think it is important to consider other aspects like the fear of abandonment, low self esteem, trauma and others which might be laying at the core.

    I sense a lot of negative emotion in the way you categorised them often adding, that the person does them on purpose.
    This is an understandable reaction but not a healthy way of coping.
    I deeply relate to the way you feel about that person you met but we both must understand, that the anger we hold within us will only drain us.
    You and I need to forgive and move on, trying not to demonise them and see everything they do as an intention to harm us, even if the things we've experienced were hard to deal with.

    I wish you the best.

  4. Is it just me or does every single millennial American female have BPD? Seems 100% normal. It's pretty much the reason why I'm sexist towards women.

  5. Actually BPD don't have memory based improveisation ,they are not aware of self unlike normal people.we have intense emotions. Intense fear abandonment.And therapy will do us huge favour..and plz don't run awy we just need some help…P

  6. I agree with The journey. People with BPD are like leeches. They "love" other people like a leech "loves" its host.

  7. "In this pre introduction the word narcissist is used to describe all Cluster B…" well I have no time for you then as you introduce yourself with a false premise. Narcissistic Personality disorder & Borderline personality disorder are 2 extremely different disorders & are by no means necessarily co-morbid, neither are any of the 4 under the "Cluster B" category. I'm flagging this. You are seriously misleading if not outright disingenuous.
    BPD is better recognised as "Emotional Dysregulation Response," it means simply that the SUFFERER's emotions are more intense and last longer. This is caused by significant trauma. To add more stigma and misery to these people's lives is ignorant & cruel.

  8. Dude, we aint monsters, this is how wed act, but some of us rather inflict all this harm to ourselfs so we dont hurt others while others literally couldnt give a single shit. Seriously mate, stop stigmatisi g, theres good ppl and bad ppl, and that influences how this illnes might manifest, theres not a single case thats the same. Honestly, bc of this kind of videos ppl with bpd have such a hard time accepting it, whichs its the first step towards improvement. Its such a painful thing. All we do is driven by pain and fear.

  9. EUPD was rejected by DSM the correct term is Borderline personality disorder much more true and descriptive as they are on the verge or between psychosis and neurosis all the time/ Very good assessment of the Borderlines lol Truly mentally messed up criminals

  10. @7:25 had me cracking up. Just a few minutes after my first date with a BPD she texted and called telling my how great I was. The compliments kept flowing and all I can think is we just met slow it down.

  11. Worst video of BPD i’ve seen so far. A lot of missinformation and demonazation of one of the most difficult mental ilness. BPD often feel a great load of guilt and shame, which encreases self harm and suicidal ideation. On top of that they simply don’t know how to be different, and can only learn with apropriate, intense psychological treatment, and the support of friends and family not calling them “emotional vampires”. If you want usefull and helpfull information take a look at Dr. Daniel Fox’s channel, he is an amazing professional, not like this irresponsable, judging amateur.

  12. i have to say that since age 13 i havent been involved in any violence and today im 24 and very proud of it, but i can clearly say about myself that i do have a violent mentality, and manipulative, and maladaptive traits which iv worked on with servral people and today, im more calm partially but still experience every emotion on very intense levels

  13. Thanks for calling me crazy, feeling much better now… You are probably talking about the extreme cases. So much negativity…

  14. Great videos, the sketches are really cool. Noticed several typos in this video and others. Interested in making corrections? Contact me.

  15. This is quite literally the worst video ive seen so far on this subject. Expand your mind on the complexities of this mental illness. Labeling someone whos emotionally confused as a villain is just plain wrong.

  16. More BPD bashing. Callous disregard causing indignities and misery. This BPD hate is a big problem and individuals like this perpetuate harm. It's a sad state of affairs because BPD is a poorly understood diagnosis to begin with and individuals with this label suffer enough stigmas…we don't need misguided, over-dramatized prototype of BPD floating around the zeitgeist.

    This is a not an objective or professional presentation. Links below > Go to Psychology in Seattle for deep domain knowledge about BPD the characteristics and features associated with BPD (and C-PTSD). Or even better, watch and/or read The Body Keeps Score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk or Trauma and Recovery by Judith Herman. Both are former Harvard Assoc. Professors. This BPD / Narcissistic thing has turned into a cottage industry with a low barrier for entry for people who won't or can't climb to find
    any meaningful information about how BPD is assessed, caused or treated. This is a presentation for people who are not informed nor interested in having real insight. The links below are a where to go to watch educated and articulated doctors who truly skilled and experienced with patients suffering from BPD / C-PTSD.

    The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk – youtube link
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53RX2ESIqsM&t=1773s

    Judtith Herman Lewis youtube panel on BPD and Complex PTSD
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zD0sK33_qmU&t=1933s

    Psychology In Seattle youtube
    https://www.youtube.com/user/PsychologyInSeattle

    Helping Borderline
    > Dr Kirk Honda talks about how to help people who suffer from borderline personality disorder.
    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rEOeoesu2qE

  17. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Do6owMR1hSY
    Maybe it is a better way to study bpd and make connection to each other.

  18. I find this video really wrong, about BPD. you will destroy a lot of people by looking at borderlines as the same as NPD. this is sad. BPD are the best friend you can have. not perfect, but best.

  19. Mr. Navarro: From the bottom of my heart thank you thank you THANK YOU for making this video. I am SICK and tired of every video about BPD claiming that these people are just poor innocent harmless little puppies who need love and understanding. Anyone who has had a parent, significant other, coworker, or even professor with BPD traits knows what bitter, vindictive, psychotic people they are at times. The fact that so many of the people commenting on here say things like "My illness hurts me just as much as you," "I'm not the one hurting you; the illness is," "I'm actually the most empathetic person you'll ever meet," is PROOF straight from the horse's mouth, how deranged and egocentric they are.

    To those with BPD: When my ex-girlfriend was out with her friends and left me home alone, her "illness" didn't magically appear out of thin air and call my a worthless piece of shit who she would kill in his sleep–that only happened when SHE was around. So it was HER, not some "phantom", that was doing those things. Taking responsibility for your own actions is STEP ONE toward change. So stop blaming your "illness" like it's some demon that's possessing you, and recognize the danger you people pose to others (and yourself), and take steps to change! YOU ARE DEFINED BY YOUR ACTIONS–BOTH GOOD AND BAD–and if your first instinct when you do something bad is to blame some "other", then you need serious help! If you can admit the fact that YOU are the one harming those closest to you, then change will come much quicker!

  20. Umm did you just fucking say you're gonna refer to a person who suffers from ANY of the disorders under cluster B as a narcissist? lmao, the defining trait of narcissism is high self-esteem. People with BPD do not have necessarily have a high self-esteem. They have fluctuating self-esteem or low self-esteem.

  21. This video is almost hate speech it needs to be taken down, your seriously spreading misinformation.. not all people with these disorders show all of these monstrous symptoms, you are only reporting on the extreme symptoms, what about all the minor ones? If you really wish to educate people why not fully educate them about it.Stop making people with BPD look like monsters they can't help the feelings they feel.

  22. this video was ridiculous even found a video about a really smart phycologist Dr. Ramani explaining just how they are opposites , you can look her up on YouTube her name and the disorder BPD or narcissistic she covers bother very well also pointing out causes symptoms and treatments

  23. One should never identify with a disorder.

    Borderline is a condition based on a series of symptoms that if all present allow you to be diagnosed. When those symptoms are present, you are very likely an abusive person.

    All humans have a spine, and we can practice and learn how to change our behavior through training and conditioning. Changing a symptom is similar to learn how to play the piano. If you manage to train yourself to control the symptoms you no longer have them, meaning you are no longer borderline. That is why you should no longer call yourself borderline once you conditioned yourself out of the major issues with the disorder.

  24. Dear video creator,

    My name is alexandra and im diagnosed bipolar and bpd. I wanted to help explain a few problems I had with your video. I know its been a bit since youve made this but if youd hear me out you might learn something 🙂 and i myself might too. When presenting a video of educational purposes it is best to stray away from words like "They". These types of words fortify stigmatization due to generalisation of a wide group of people. Saying things like "a person with bpd will" instead of "a person with bpd may". This is just a friendly tip to help! I find that criticsm when done properly can help wonders. So I do want it to be known im not attacking you or angry. I loved the effort put into the video you did marvellous on so many things.

  25. Except for the few trying to get help, I wish the rest would off themselves, do the world a favor. The most toxic parasite on the planet. The sociopaths, don't realize they are sociopaths.

  26. Okay just the title of this pisses me off. Just because we have BPD doesn't make us dangerous unlike someone who has psychopathy or antisocial personality disorder. The stigma surrounding this really needs to fucking stop. I'm so tired of watching people call us crazy just because we have this. Cut it out.

  27. I believe you better look up antisocial personality disorder because it sounds more like what you're describing here. Thanks for making us all out to seem like heartless monsters. In fact one of the Hallmarks of BPD is feeling emotions more intensely than most people so you got this totally wrong. I would love to know where you got your information from and to know your credentials. Are you a therapist or a psychiatrist? If not then do your homework. Super offencive.

  28. Best bpd video ever! Calling all bpd people…you are on the wrong channel. Please exit and find the attention you want on other channels who feel sorry for you goodbye! Oh others are too boring for u huh? Ha ha good old disturbed people

  29. This stupid fucking dickhead doesn't know the difference between cluster A and B personalities and is talking about imaginary guys! lmao get some basic training in psychology and stop smoking meth.

  30. I have a feeling that they always target emotionally stable people. Rarely dod they end up with the same disorder person.

  31. .. what makes me wonder, why are humans with bpd, carrying such blueprint of character with them? I was thinking they might all be different, but that i can say i lived exactly through this or i got threaten i will receive this or that consequences, exactly as mentioned in this BPD-Resumé.

    The aaaaalmost funfact that my BPD-lover was a psychotherapist didnt helped to let me come to another conclusion. But I wonder so much, because i have 2 Friends which had made the all in all same experiences as I with their BPD-lover. We stood wondering what the heck is driving them so uniquely in conformity to BPD-villian-expression.
    Fuckers, i wish you well and unlimited positive power in life. Screw paradoxtox!

  32. Unfortunately, I haven't been able to locate any professional psychiatrist practising DBT treatment here in India. They are still into CBT. I've been through hell for last 15 years dealing with my spouse having BPD like symptoms. She threatens me with dire consequence if I divorce her.

  33. Villian , portray you as a VILLIAN ….LOL… my BPD daughter, because I refused to continue supporting her at 22, and I refused to give her a duplex that I own, began trying to extort me. I had to call the police on her, then she started slandering me on facebook and said the most vile disgusting things she could to hurt me. If that was not enough, after and I will say this again, after I called the police on her for extortion and pulled her into court for a protective order, she then claimed I sexually assaulted her 20 years ago. So you tell me, EVIL, sadisctic…. you tell me. You have no idea the pain and humiliation I had to go through because of her.

    Have a nice day

  34. Very good video actually. Well presented, eloquently narrated, and most importantly bang on the money. Having lived with a borderline for 2 months who showed every single trait listed here as well as countless hours of research on the topic I can honestly say that this video is very accurate.

  35. It's frightening you might have any kind of input or involvement, with vulnerable people suffering mental illness.. just saying.

  36. I was offended within the first 5 seconds and reading your description. Get your facts straight before you talk about a mental illness you know nothing about. People with BPD are not dangerous, and we are also not narcissistic. The fact that you categorized every disorder in cluster B as “narcissistic” is ignorant af. Also, BPD is not a “psychic” disorder, whatever tf that means, it’s a PERSONALITY disorder.

  37. I would also like to add that people with BPD are not evil, manipulative people, and many of us function normally in society and have healthy relationships. Bpd makes all of your emotions much more intense, which is where intense anger can come from. But it also means that we LOVE and CARE for people so much deeper than everyone else. We do not go around looking for “victims”. BPD is caused by trauma and a past of being constantly abandoned or treated poorly. We would never want to do that to someone else, and when we do hurt someone, we carry that guilt HEAVILY. We will never forgive ourselves for it.
    People with BPD are not crazy. We have a mental illness, just like anxiety or depression or any of the other ones that are accepted by society. It’s also treatable and CURABLE. Telling everyone to stay away from someone with BPD is incredibly insensitive and ignorant. Do we not deserve to be loved just like everyone else? Do we not deserve happiness because we were cursed with a mental illness? Bpd is manageable. We need people to support us and try to understand, not criticize and call us evil. We are not. WE are victims to our mental illness, and we suffer more than you will ever understand. Quit spreading this negative bullshit. You’re not helping anybody.

  38. I understand you had a bad relationship with a women with BPD but not all of them are like that and BPD is a illness coming from trauma if someone with BPD is pure evil what do we call the people who are factors to there illnesses those with BPD have been abused and it caused a chemical imbalance and distorted reality but not dangerous my ex was BPD I HATED HIM HE RUINED MY LIFE and now am BPD and seeing videos like this just makes me wanna disappear I could never hurt anyone just wanted feel love and support as I don't even understand myself

  39. Over 2 years since I left my narcissist. I still haven't fully recovered and sadly I experience bouts of what could be perceived as PTSD. I don't know why I let this person poison me. I don't want to get my mess on anyone.. So I isolate.. Which makes it worse.

  40. I hate it when people compare bpd to narcissism.They are two very different illnesses.Most people with bpd are very empathetic and not narcissists by any means.

  41. I don’t know how common this is but In my life have been close friends with about 4 people with a personality disorder and my ex husband has borderline, we have a kid together. Since we divorced my life has become so miserable. He truly hates me and he makes sure to get any chance of revenge and doesn’t talk to me without at least 2 highly offensive insults ( saying I’m fat, ugly, stupid, he’s even told me he thinks I should kill myself). Fuck him tho! Insults are the least if it plus he’s a compulsive liar and alcoholic! Yay for everyone who has to deal with him.
    Anyway, I find myself wondering all the time what must be wrong with me that these kind of people are so attracted to me.

  42. Just wrong, I'm a quiet one and I do nothing at all like this and am in therapy. The ones that act out are called sick, and are preyed on by other "sick" disorders. I dont appreciate a lot of this stigma since I hate my background and am actively trying to change. Demonizing? My narcissistic friend actually tried to get me to stay nearby enough to help them since was in my nature to help. So wow what an approach here I dont understand how these conclusions were met to blanket explain borderline personalities. A lot of people with BPD like me, you would never know by meeting them.

  43. I have Borderline disorder and I completely agree with you I think the people with this disorder are emotionally lame …

  44. I've noticed that any video criticising the behaviour of those with BPD is bombarded by angry comments trying to reinforce their victim narrative, how stereotypical. Personally I think it's nice to see a video from the perceptive of the actual victims in this, good people who've been hurt by all the lies and emotional manipulation.

  45. this video is an awful representation of bpd , we're not all vicious this is bpd + psychopathic tendencies

  46. Not every bpd is like this. Everyone with borderline personality disorder have different symptoms you need to have 5 traits from 9 traits ( an example of me I have all traits but not unstable relationships and I know who I am and what I want ). I am not offended by this video, just wanted to let other know.

  47. People are getting mixed up with the borderline female and the female. Extremely hard to distinguish between the two.

  48. The educational video is very informative but it states by Joe Navarro? I did not hear nor read what Joe Navarro stated about this topic and this narrator did not state he received his information from Joe Navarro. I also did see where credit was given. Just thought I would put that out there. I searched Joe Navarro and this was brought up and it does state in the title by Joe Navarro.

  49. Why can’t they ever listen to that little voice inside them? The voice that says “kill yourself“ they never listen to that voice do they? Perhaps the merciful ones do.

    They are the worst garbage. They are “bad people“ this is why there is video commentary/web commentary on “our borderlines bad people“. If people are consistently asking if they’re “bad“ or evil“ then one could probably surmise that this is exactly what you were dealing with. Sometimes bad is just bad.

  50. I remember at my worst, I would get angry, jelous and offended at my SO if he'd give attention to, affection to or even talk about his pet cats. BPD can make you so twisted. It's scary

  51. The comments are kinda fucked up on this video, what people are saying, what the people don’t understand is that they didn’t choose to be that way, I don’t think anyone would want to be this way. If you have no idea what you’re talking about don’t speak about it simple as🤦🏼‍♀️

  52. Sure I was hurt by my bpd ex, but she's a beautiful person and I loved her with all of my heart. Evil beings is bullshit and this video is a peace of moronic shit.

  53. Y’all are too much. People with mental illnesses are self aware but it’s hurt to fix behavior if you don’t know what’s wrong.

  54. The main complaint I have is the use of "Her" and "she" I inherited the disorder from my father. Who is still struggling with the disorder and I have only seen him 3 times in my life. It is more rare in men but it does happen

  55. I wrote something much longer, but I'll just say this:

    If you believe there's no good inside of me, then I will stop searching for it in you.

  56. I feel sick to my stomack.. I have ben thru this hell.. I am glad that the relationshep has ben over fore a long time now…. My ex girlfriend have BPD….

  57. Dangerous generalizations here.  While you may see how borderlines act/react, there are multiple instances in this video where you say things like "borderlines do this because"  and the because is some kind of horrible motivation.  The truth is most borderlines are not trying to manipulate people or treat people poorly.  They are reacting to traumas in their past.  You make it sound like borderlines are the most evil people on the planet when this is simply not the case.

  58. I feel this video and it's content crosses too many clinical boundries to match it's title . Touches more on Narc/Psycho/Sociopathic traits or the most extreme spectrums of BPD at it's most accurate .

  59. These are not the only things that define BPD. The self hatred, the feeling of emptiness that never goes away, the constant voice in your head telling you to kill yourself cause you will never be good enough. You can't understand the constant pain and the horror that you are hurting your loved ones. Don't be so judgemental.

  60. Most women don't mind dating someone who is dating other people but don't expect sex. That's what I am thinking. In this hook-up culture, people are much different than what we did 30 years ago. Be careful with other people's hearts. Get to know them. If they are having sex with other people, STI's can be real problem. This is reality.

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