Candy Crush Saga: 10 Reasons Not To Play It!

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Hey everyone, hope all is well! It’s the government’s responsibility to inform
the public and deal with dangers when they happen. So what about Candy Crush? How did they let that one slip by? It’s pure evil! Ask conspiracy theorist Alex Jones. “IT’S PURE EVIL!” So here are 10 reasons why Candy Crush Saga will destroy your life. Number 1: It is simple. A simple game means
anyone can play it and so your brain will be put through super mundane tasks which can
only make you stupider. Stupider? Is that a real word? Number 2: It is addictive. This simple game
creates a mentality in the minds of most people so when they put it down, they will walk away
and then say, “Ah just one more go!” The closer you get to completing a level,
the more addicted you become. Number 3: You don’t get to choose when you
play. You only get 5 lives in Candy Crush and once they are used up, you have to wait
30 minutes for each one to replenish. NOOOOOOOOOO! This clever ploy means the average player
won’t get sick of the game quickly. Number 4: It is challenging, but for all the
wrong reasons. You could be stuck on one level for weeks,
but then one time, the board is organised in a completely convenient way. All of the
candy is in the right place And BAM! Piece of cake. So what’s the technique for completing Candy
Crush? Keep playing each level enough time until you get the ideal start. Number 5: The music is sinister as f**k. Not only does the game music sound creepy
but the fact each song is about 15 seconds long and is on a loop… that’s sinister. It’s so hypnotic. Number 6: You compete with other addicts. On the Candy Crush map it will show you what
levels all your other friends are on. So it becomes a talking point almost every day. “What level are you on?” “Ohhhhhh! I’m stuck on that level.” [Horse snort] “How did you complete that one?” “You are so far behind.” “IT’S PURE EVIL!” Number 7: It will turn you into a spammer. We all hate spammers but would never dream
of becoming one ourselves. But when you require 3 tickets to progress onto the next level,
you have no choice but to give into the practice. [Sniff] I’ve become a monster. Okay, there is one other option… Number 8: Candy Crush wants your money. If you don’t want to be a spammer then you
can get more tickets and lives with your hard earned cash. Or if you are just about to complete
a difficult level you have been stuck on for weeks and you are just about to run out of
moves… then you can buy some more. And there is even a special move – a ‘charm’
as they call it – that you can pay over $30 for. Please tell me you haven’t bought it. Number 9: You will never complete it. There are over 300 levels and even if you
get to the end of the path, it’s under construction which means as long as we all keep playing
it, the creators will keep making more. They’re monsters! And number 10: Sooner or later you will have
to face reality. Candy Crush becomes a vicious cycle; A horrible
addiction. Your friends will tell you to stop playing it. Your family will tell you how
you’ve changed, how you’re not the same person anymore. It will destroy your relationships
with non-Candy Crush players. But the worst part is when you finally go
over to that window, look outside and ask yourself “What have I actually achieved?”
And it’s then that you will find yourself at ‘Candy Crush Anonymous’. “Hi everyone. My name’s Myles and I’m addicted
to Candy Crush.” *Group* “Hi Myles.” So there you have it: 10 reasons why Candy
Crush Saga will destroy your life. I just felt the need to warn you all. Just please
don’t make the same mistakes I did. But at the same time, if anyone does play it and
you can send me a ticket, I just need one more. Anyway thanks for watching this video. Don’t
forget to click like. And hey! If you ever receive a Candy Crush notification, reply
to it with this video. We must wake them up from their sugar comas. And if you are new to my channel click subscribe
and you will be kept up to date with all my latest videos. I think it’s only fair we let Alex Jones have
the final word. “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Too aggressive? Yeah, I thought so. Sorry about that. Erm… Shall we let Mr Goat
have the final word instead? [Goat Cry] “AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Right erm… Aggressive final words it is
then. ADIOS ‘TIL NEXT TIME!

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