Honest Trailers – Paranormal Activity

Honest Trailers – Paranormal Activity

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HONEST TRAILER : PARANORMAL ACTIVITY NARRATOR
In 2009, a screening was held. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
This audience was the first to experience a new horror phenomenon. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
What they saw… left them… BORED. REALLY, REALLY BORED. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Paranormal Activity. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Get ready to experience the cheaper, less interesting version
of The Blair Witch Project. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Behold the terror of a film so easy, anyone’s dad could have shot it. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
And so cheap, it’s created a genre of handheld crap. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Prepare to be terrified… By a marketing department so effective, they actually made
cities demand this tedious home movie… NARRATOR (CONT’D)
that substitutes shaky camerawork for legitimate horror. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
With a premise that they’ll milk for at least five more movies. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
A movie for an audience so gullible… NARRATOR (CONT’D)
they think that a moving sheet is scary. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Featuring a guy that can’t stop acting like a total douchebag… NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Who plans to fight an invisible demon by yelling at it. MICAH:
“Show yourself!” NARRATOR:
And a less hot Katy Perry, who basically just cries a lot. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Together, they will confront the terrifying question of why he’s filming so much. KATIE:
“Put the camera away. KATIE (CONT’D)
You and your stupid camera are the problem.” KATIE (CONT’D)
“Maybe we shouldn’t have the camera. You have to turn off the camera. Will you stop
following me with the camera!” NARRATOR:
A shocking tale where characters point out what’s scary, MICAH:
“Door is freaking moving by itself.” NARRATOR:
Walk through an empty house, and sleep. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
For, like, 60 percent of the movie. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
With a mystery so deep, you’ll be constantly asking… NARRATOR (CONT’D)
is she hot or is it just her big boobs? NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Brace yourself for 86 minutes of… NARRATOR (CONT’D)
a Guitar. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
A door. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
A Fridge. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Some Empty Rooms A ceiling grate. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
A chandelier. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Some Blinds. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
An attic door. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Stairs, stairs, stairs, stairs… NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Juliet from Lost? NARRATOR (CONT’D)
and stairs. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Starring… NARRATOR (CONT’D)
No one. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Paranormal activity. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
I guess I’ll go see it this Halloween. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Nothing else is playing. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
Maybe we should friend each other on facebook. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
The link’s in the doobly-doo. NARRATOR (CONT’D)
As per the uje, leave a comment telling us what movie you’d like to see getting the
honest treatment next and leave a quote you’d like to hear me say next time in my epic trailer
voice.

100 comments

  1. this is the most funniest honest trailer and best voice and the rest are kind of just milking them,….. no the other voices are bad this voice is the best.

  2. The first and only time I saw this movie it was with commentary from the Rifftrax crew, and even Then it was still boring. They had nothing to make fun of cause Nothing happened in the movie. hahaha

  3. MY FAVORITE HONEST TRAILER … : โ€œstarring – NO ONEโ€. hahahahahha
    Voice guy, amazing. Better than the other guy

  4. No kidding…this movie was like sooo boring…I didn't get scared at all and now I feel really smart because I didn't…yeah

  5. This voice actor is trying to speak waaaaaaaay deeper than his register allows. It's impossible to listen to.

  6. I dated a girl for a little bit a years back when the sequels were popular. We ended up watching some of them and she wondered why I wasn't interested in them. Then she revealed that her and her best friend thought the first one was real footage when they saw it in the theater. The relationship ended rapidly after that information came out. I just……couldn't do it anymore………

  7. This was just a big misunderstanding. The studio execs said "we need more scares" and the director then went to reshoot "more stairs". Can you say it never happened to you?

  8. Just wait they will do an honest trailer of the bay which is a movie about a spreading disease that spread through claridge Maryland

  9. Was that Heather from TBWP? Nah, can't be… She died at the end!
    Didn't she?
    OMG! That boring waste of VHS tape just got Scary!!!

  10. That movie sucked lol I remember when it was coming out their like it's the scariest movie out lmao it was dumb as fuck

  11. I will not watch a hand held found footage movie at all. It doesnโ€™t matter how good the reviews are, I find them that annoying.

  12. Superhero cafรฉ's Superman thinking… 'Is this you new Batmanvoice?'
    Then I saw it's an old video ๐Ÿ™‚

  13. Paranormal Activity went down to Hell after the third film. Only saw 1-3 in movie thearers. Wrong storyline and no character development are some of the culprits.

  14. Do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic do birdemic

  15. Dudes voice really sucks. Can't even watch it because his voice is just that bad. Sorry bro but your voice sucks. Where's the other guy

  16. My sister took me to the theater to see this, because she was too scared to go by herself. Long story short, I had the best nap of my life.

  17. Totally forgot about these 'horrors' (Get it? Cause they were so bad? No? Whatever) til I got to this honest trailer video

  18. What can we do to protect us from our fears? This Tibetan mantra can help! OM BENZA WIKI BITANA SOHA, recite 108 times a day. Find out more here bit((dot))ly/DSretreat

  19. Katy Perry has some really bigggg bewbs…..๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“๐Ÿ’“….ride on mine 7 inch horse

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