If Horror Films Really Took Place in the South

If Horror Films Really Took Place in the South

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(intense music) (chainsaw idling) We’re almost there! (chainsaw revving) Youse guys are gonna die! Wait! We have to get inside! Did you hear that? He said, “youse guys…” I don’t think he’s from here. (frustrated noises) Oh… No, we’re good. (grunts) You think kudzu can stop me?! Should we tell him that’s poison ivy? Nah, he’ll figure it out. Ow! What are these things?! He’s untangled now, but now he’s covered in sand spurs. Oh is that what you call ’em? I’ve always called ’em stickers. Yeah I’ve heard ’em called that too. They’re so sharp! Oof! (snake hiss) Is that a snake? Oh, that is definitely a snake. How does it go? “If red touches yellow…” It’s a cottonmouth! “It’ll kill a–” (screams) (screaming) I need a hot shower. C’mon! You’re gonna miss the best part! He’s rolling around in fire ants! (screaming) Brought to you by Renasant Rewards Extra. The checking account that checks all the boxes.

100 comments

  1. I know a soldier from Pennsylvania who was sent to Fort Gordon, GA. for training.
    He said, that a few days after his arrival. He was seen beating the ground with the butt of his rifle.
    He was introduced to fire ants.

  2. As a Yankee who grew up in the north, I can only say I love these short sketches. they are really funny. We've lost the ability to laugh at ourselves and our little cultural/ Regional nuances. I'm always the first one to joke about growing up in New Jersey .

  3. My son was a little guy running around with a small edger shovel, digging holes. A black snake zoomed up his (big) dogs legs and hissed in the dogs face. Whang! Knocked that black sucker off without hesitation.

  4. Are sand spurs like goat heads? I was born in southern California and goat heads grow everywhere. They are the bane of anyone who likes going barefoot. The even have a poison on them that itches and burns for hours after you pull out the actual burr. They are also hell for bike riders as the plant particularly likes the cracked pavement.

  5. Ah the old Cottonmouth or as my Grandma & others like to call them, "Water Moccasins" ๐Ÿ™‚
    Not from the South myself (L.A.), but my Grandma grew up in Arkansas

  6. Ok this is bothering me, do they not realize that poison ivy is literally everywhere, including the places up north?

    Edit: and snakes and fire ants

  7. Sticker burrs, sand gnats and watered down gas from Hoggly Woggly are things that have defeated non-southerners. Y'all come back now ya hear.

  8. Ok, the New Yorker (Long Island specifically) in me has to say something. In my experience, people donโ€™t really say โ€œyouse guys.โ€ Youse is really just a plural form of you, so you would just use it the same way you would use โ€œ you.โ€ Also, โ€œyouseโ€ doesnโ€™t really sound like โ€œuse,โ€ it usually sounds more like โ€œyuzzโ€ (rhymes with fuzz). So Instead of saying โ€œyouse guys,โ€ I would either say โ€œyou guysโ€ or โ€œall of yuzz.โ€

    Regardless, I recently discovered this channel and have been watching (and loving!) all of your videos. Keep up the great work! (And if you ever need a northeast consultant, hit me up ๐Ÿ˜„)

  9. Wait are these things NOT everywhere? You mean that other places donโ€™t have fire ants or stickers or stuff like that? Or any of those little spiky shells that make your feet bleed? Woah…

  10. This was really funny! I'm born and raised in Texas; never have heard grass Spurs. Grass burrs or stickers is what we call them.

  11. I was kind of expecting a beautifully delicate and wonderfully scented purple wisteria growing behind him. You know, that lovely invasive vine that can pull down large pine and oak trees and even houses? They're in full bloom already around here.

  12. This is why the South will win the next civil war. Can you imagine NY millenials trying to engage in combat in the sticks and swamps of Mississippi? I can't even imagine a NY millennial with the courage to hold a gun, let alone dodge a cottonmouth.

  13. Now this isn't real, that guy would've offered to help wash his sister in the shower. It's the southern thing to do when sis is undressed right? ๐Ÿ˜†

  14. Iโ€™m surprised he didnโ€™t step in a stump hole. Or a yellow jacket nest. The South is pretty much the Australia of the United States.

  15. We called them stickers too. But did you ever get into what we called white flowers? They were worse.

  16. ๐Ÿ˜‚
    This is why any USAn who survived our "down under" conditions we say "must be from the south".

  17. Oh, come on. Youโ€™re gonna miss the best part. Heโ€™s rollin around in fire ants. ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚ love it!!

  18. If horror movies actually took place down here, chainsaw man would've been shot by anyone he tried to murder. Never bring a chainsaw to a gunfight.

  19. Looks like Trump trying to be a chainsaw killer! Spurs and poison ivy. Sounds like a great gift for the Despoiler in Chief!

  20. Donโ€™t forget the yellow flies when I lived in south Alabama they were horrible chased me down the catman trail and then I was without energy for days

  21. I have watched this video more times than the Andy Griffith show where Barney gets a motorcycle and I think I laughed more too first
    One of ya'll videos I found look forward to the new ones like it was the Dukes of Hazzard

  22. No truck? No gun rack? Great one, y'all. Especially the snake and fire ants. Any non-southener I've ever spoken to after they have lived down here a while relates their first encounter with a snake, and their adventure with fire ants. They can't understand why snakes are downtown because snakes should be in the woods somewhere they say.

  23. They are going in the house, the killer is behind them and right on the door, she turn around and yells "TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF!!"

    Sorry for any grammar mistakes, english is my second language.

  24. It's like God made the South by taking the template for Australia and substituting humidity for all of the marsupials besides possums.

  25. I was at wall mart a few years back in the month of July in front of me was a woman and her son and right of the bat I new they was from up north by the way they talked and the fact the WOMAN would not shit up any way there leggs were full of red whelps they had set down in the tall grass and weeds to watch fire works and picnic and the chiggers had eat them alive.i had seen what the chiggers had done to there legs I could Olney imagine what those chiggers done to that woman's groan.area!!!because I no the groan is where they like to attack the most! anyway I thought we come to the south Yankee woman how's that cooter.feel now girl!

  26. If he's rolling around in fire ants, go dump some honey on him. Serves him right after chasing you with a chainsaw! Lol!

  27. I thought they'd run in the house and their dad, brother, cousin, and two neighbors would show up pointing shotguns and rifles at the killer in the first 10 seconds.

  28. Let's see: kudzu grabbed him for being rude stomping about; poison ivy, being needy for attention and love, wanted someone to play; the prickliest playing tag your it; copper mouth waltzed by for a howdy; fire ants were partying when free eats dropped in; … and they found him the next day on a second date kudzu (or never left); Haven't figured out how to get the gator in yet; and quicky become road (field) kill jerky from the early morning sun! Aah, the gater grabs some for his snack as he does his daily walk.

  29. Donโ€™t forget the fire ants!!! ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿœ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜‚

  30. There was a prison in Newton,Tx holding an inmate from New York and he broke out. Instead of a massive search and wasting taxpayers money they just let him spend the night in the woods. He came out the next morning with his hands up. The heat, mosquitoes and everything else tore him up. He was more than ready to go back to the prison. True story.

  31. This could be any place in the midwest to the northern states. Hell the whole country has these issues right down to the sand spurs. In fact the sand spurs & poisonus snakes are worse in the American Southwest desserts of Arizona.

  32. In my area it's, '' Cousin XXX, I need to throw some zombies in your abandoned mineshaft, mine is full.''
    ''Ite.''

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