Key & Peele – Non-Scary Movie

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– STUPID. – SEE, I DON’T EVEN UNDERSTAND HOW THAT’S EVEN
IN THE HORROR GENRE, DOG. – RIGHT? I MEAN, THAT’S THE LEAST
SCARED I EVER BEEN, MAN. IT’S LIKE
A ROMANTIC COMEDY. – IT’S LIKE A LULLABY, DOG. – YEAH, FOR REALS THOUGH.
– PSSH. – OH, OH,
WHERE YOU PARKED AT? – OH, WHAT NOW? – WHERE YOU PARKED AT, DOG? – YEAH, I’M OVER
THAT WAY, BOY. – OH,
YOU ALL THE WAY DOWN THERE? – YEAH.
– WELL, I’M THIS WAY, DOG. – OH, ALL RIGHT.
ALL RIGHT, DOG. – ALL RIGHT. ALL RIGHT. [eerie music] ♪ ♪ – YOU KNOW WHAT?
– WHAT’S THAT, DOG? – I’LL WALK YOU
TO YOUR CAR, DOG. – WORD, WORD, WORD, YEAH.
– YEAH, YEAH, YEAH. – THEN I’LL DRIVE YOU
BACK TO YOUR CAR, DOG. DUMBASS MOVIE, MAN.
– NAH. – A DEMON CAN POSSESS
ANY INANIMATE OBJECT? THAT’S TOO GENERAL
TO BE SCARY. – YO, MAN, IT’S LIKE,
HOW YOU GONNA HAVE A DEMON POSTING UP IN A TRASH CAN? – I MEAN, YOU KNOW,
IT’S DUMB. – IT DON’T MAKE NO SENSE.
– IT’S STUPID. – IT DON’T MAKE NO SENSE.
– YOU KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING? – IT’S STUPID.
IT’S STUPID. IT’S UNREALISTIC
IS WHAT IT IS. – IT’S LIKE, I AIN’T GONNA
BE SCARED OF NO TRASH CAN. [eerie musical flourish] AND WHAT WAS THAT OTHER THING
THEY HAD WITH THE, UH, THE DEMON PUDDLE? – OH, YEAH, YEAH. THAT WAS THE MOST STUPID PART
RIGHT THERE. A DEMON COULD PULL YOU INTO HELL
IF YOU STEP IN A PUDDLE. LIKE, WE SOME MORONS? – I MEAN, HOW YOU GONNA SCARE A COUPLE ADULTS WITH A PUDDLE? – STUPID.
– STUPID. – STUPID.
– STUPID. – AND THE DEMON GOT
THEM HELLHOUNDS ROAMING AROUND EVERYWHERE, BRINGING HUMANS
TO THE DEMON ALIVE TO BE SACRIFICED. – COME ON, MAN. [dog barking] – THAT’S JUST STUPID! – STUPID.
– YEAH. – YOU KNOW, IT’S LIKE–
IT’S LAZY STORYTELLING… – YES, YES.
– IS WHAT IT IS. – IT’S A LOT OF THINGS,
BUT SCARY IS NOT ONE OF THEM. [eerie musical flourish] – AND WHAT WAS
WITH ALL THEM CREEPY KIDS AND THE WHISPERING
AND WHATNOT? – OH, PLEASE.
– I MEAN, COME ON, DOG. – PLEASE, DUDE.
– WHAT ARE WE TALKING ABOUT? – YOU JUST IDENTIFIED, LIKE,
THE STUPIDEST PART OF THE MOVIE. [both laugh] THEM KIDS–
THEM KIDS WAS TALKING ABOUT, [breathily]
“I WILL STEAL YOUR SOUL. I WILL SUCK YOUR ESSENCE.”
[mumbling spookily] – OKAY, YEAH,
THAT’S STUPID RIGHT THERE. YOU CAN STOP RIGHT NOW, MAN,
IF YOU JUST WANTED TO– PLEASE STOP!
– YEAH. – ‘CAUSE IT’S STUPID.
– IT WAS STUPID. – IT WAS STUPID AS HELL.
– IT WAS STUPID. – IT WAS JUST STUPID. WHAT?
– THIS YOUR CAR? – THIS ME, DOG.
– YEAH. [both sniffing] YEAH, I HOPE
THERE’S NOT ONE OF THEM DEMONS POSSESSING YOUR CAR. [both laughing] I’M JUST STEPPING
RIGHT NOW, FOR REAL. – THAT’S STUPID.
YOU BEING REAL STUPID. – I’M BEING STUPID. – THAT WAS THE STUPIDEST PART OF THE MOVIE RIGHT THERE, DOG. – I’M THE ONE BEING
STUPID UP IN HERE. – THAT WAS PRETTY STUPID.
– [laughing] – THAT WAS THE STUPIDEST PART
RIGHT THERE, MAN. THAT PART WAS–THAT MOVIE
WAS STUPID AS HELL, MAN. – [laughing]
STUPID. STUPID. – THAT WAS
THE NOT-SCARIEST PART OF THE MOVIE. OH, MY GOD.
IT WAS STUPID. – LIKE A DEMON COULD POSSESS– – I MEAN, IT’S SO STUPID.
– THAT WAS SO STUPID. – IT WAS PRETTY STUPID,
THOUGH, DOG. – OH, MY GOD,
THAT WAS STUPID. – IT WAS PRETTY STUPID. YOU KNOW WHAT, MAN? I’M–SHIT, I’M SORRY, DOG, THAT YOU HAD TO WATCH THAT
DUMBASS NOT-SCARY MOVIE. YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN? – MAN, YOU KNOW,
THAT’S HOW IT GO. THAT’S HOW IT GO. [eerie musical flourish]

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