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*Song plays* *Death Noise* *Song Continues* “How’s it going bros, my name is PewDiePie!” (Life is truly beautiful) I’m Pyrocynical You never know what i’m going to do next I’m so wacky, with my glasses and my helmets And my hats WOOO- How’s it gong bros, my name is PewDiePie! I thought i’d treat you guys to another game O’clock So today we’re going to be looking at Resident Evil 7 The DLC just came out for PC, it’s been out for fucking ages Everyone’s already done a video on it, but it’s just came out for PC So we got nightmare, bedroom 21. and daughters I think what i’m gonna do is try bedroom That sounds like a good one, a lot of stuff goes down in the bedroom *insert mum joke* N-not for me Shit boi, looks like you’re trapped, do we have to do a quick timer to bust you out? I love quick time events. You guys play Resident Evil 6? Lotta quick time events. Oh i’d love to jump up and down, but unfortunately you’ve clamped my fucking hand to the desk. and this is my jerk off hand as well, how am I meant to pleasure myself in the Baker household now? I’ve seen a lot of people pick “wow, this looks delicious” so i’m gonna pick an option just to piss her off. [Laughter] Don’t hit me, please, don’t. *OH SHIT* “I made it with love” as she smacks you across the face. Ah don’t worry I’ll- uh… I’ll eat all of this Even though it stinks like shit “Escape from the ro-” Are you fucking gay? That shit looks delicious Let’s eat some Boy that looks tasty Taste like pussy? *HUARGH* Ah no, come on Don’t be a bitch Don’t be a stick bitch. I just noticed that i’m taking damage So it’s probably best I don’t Uh- eat any of that again I’m free! “-locked from the other side.” *AH* Nananana, Clancy- Clancy- Clancy, my boy, listen I’ve seen a lot of let’s plays There’s no way out, just Clamp yourself back in And eat some of that delicious, tasty soup Trust me It’s good for ya I think, I think there’s an intestine, you don’t wanna eat that *HUARAGHAUHERGH* Clancy you- you gotta stop being a bitch, come on- you gotta eat that come on I get that you’re bleeding out, you’re getting jelly screened that it’s fucking MW2 But you gotta eat that shit up right, it’ll make you big and strong It’s like Popeye’s spinach *UGHUARAGRAHARGH* I feel like if I eat anymore I’m gonna die, *dies* Oh did I just die? *Wheezes* I uhh– That’s what happens when you don’t eat your greens kids- ya fuckin die okay I’m going to try this again, this time uhh, do not eat the soup I’ll take the spoon though I’m sure i’ll need that for something else, so– I’ll get Clancy out Get out of bed, get out of bed bitch. It’s time to fucking GAME! It’s game o’clock what are you doin in bed? Imma- have a look around and see what I need to do? I can’t interact with anything Ahh, there we go. Ya ya I couldn’t intera– ohh I need like a light source to interact with memes I got you, alright alright. So just this clo- *When you realize that your roblox girlfriend is cheating on you* Or it just breaks, in front of me. Oh look at this. Untitled Painting B Woah! These are spiders. I mean the-they look pretty compressed They’re more like GIF’s of spiders, not really actual spiders Use the spoon, ah I’ll tell you what Use the painting- What? What’s that? The fuckin painting didn’t work to pick the lock? What are you fuckin gay Capcom? That work? Open sesame! Ahh, ok. “Untitled Painting B” *BING BING* I didn’t touch nothing! I- I- nanananananah- Wasn’t me. Wasn’t me. Uhh- nothing Marguerite. Ignore that pushing noise on the door, I am not trying to escape. I don’t understand what I gotta do. Wait a second- Ohh! Ohh! I feel ya! Alright, alright, alright so– Put that painting there. Take that painting. Put that painting there. And put the final one there. Whats that do? What’s that do? Ohhh! It’s- nothing darling! I’m just trying to solve a puzzle but for some reason you placed in this room. I don’t know what to do with this needle. I need to put- I need to take this shit- Uhh- fuckin interact! Interact! Uhh- painting there. Where did that- aww Put this ove- put this over here! Uhh NONONONNONNONONO! WHAT YOU MEAN CAN’T USE IT HERE!!!!!! I’m tryna put it back! *wimpers* Oh no! Oh no she’s gonna notice the paintings gone! She’s gonna notice the paintings gone! I couldn’t put the painting down! I kept tryna put it down and it said can’t-couldn’t do this here? She’s gonna notice. She’s gonna kick my ass. Nothing is wrong here Marguerite. Nothing at all. Don’t get-don’t get worked up now. How bout you jus- Ohh, I didn’t even put the lantern back. *Dry laughs* Out of all the things I forgot the lantern *BUGS* Beautiful. That’s how a woman treats you right, when a woman- Starts throwing up centipedes, and green flies in your face She treating you right. So, she just vomited in my fucking face. Not too nice. Oh shit she’s secured it. Ah, fuck. What have I still got? Sewing needle, can’t use that. Uh, try the I’d try the painting Painting doesn’t work. Fucking gay, Capcom. Look, paintings are a multi tool, you can use them for anything. Hacking, pick locking. In my time the Great Gatsby used to hack locks with nothing but the edge of a painting. He was a, he was a real man. See this “Same time as all the other clocks.” “A strong pull might open it.” Nothing in there. “It won’t budge. It-” Oh for fucks sake are you serious? Nonononono I, ah Ah, oh dear There’s got to be- You can’t like combine it with anything either. Alright, she can not catch me again then, clearly. Uhhh… Wait, what the fuck is that? OOOO We got ourselves a knife, boys. So when she comes in, I’ll just fucking stab her. Stab a bitch. Can we use the knife on that? No. Ooh, I know- I know a meme we could do, we could ah- use the sewing needle. Yeah But, oh- Wait wait wait, that said the same as all the other clocks didn’t it? Yeah yeah yeah, so please don’t go off. Please don’t go off. Thank you. Thank you. So it’s, five in the morning. So I gotta set that to five. Gonna take a while I’m just holding the D-key. I’m like a little fucking- chewing out of that shit(?) Oh shit I’ve gone over, I’ve gone over the limit. Okay, back to five, back to five. OKAY That was quite loud actually. “Shit.” She didn’t hear that. Nah, she didn’t hear that. Okay, she doesn’t hear the loud ringing noice and the bed moving, but she hears the bed moving back, which was like a lot quieter. Okay. Capcom again, your logic. I don’t understand these, these um, asian- right. That- that’s how you put the painting back! It’s quite funny how you wouldn’t let me put the painting back before, right. How long have I got until she comes? Uh, oh shit, close that. No, I can’t- Oh, oh, lantern lantern, lantern- Yeah yeah yeah, put that back- put that back.. Uh what does this say? “First, death granted darkness to the man from the west.” “As the man traveled on, he gave of his flesh to four beasts of the earth.” “And when he arrived in the east, he was charmed black with ardent joy.” What is that meme? I don’t know what that meme is. Uh, I- I don’t have time. I don’t have time. I don’t have time. I’ve got to, I’ve gotta get back in to bed. I think I’ve got everything. The only thing I couldn’t get was the- the drawer. I couldn’t fix the draw. So I think she’s gonna come in and kick my ass now. Or she’s gonna bring me a lovely pot of uh, people. Ah, Marguerite, you know that’s uh, you know how to treat your guests right. Aw hell no, what? What are you fucking gay? No- no ones been in here. Just don’t look at that drawer, okay. Don’t, don’t, don’t look at it. I, uh, well. I, uh Don’t look- Don’t look, I’m not looking. I’m not looking. I’m looking away. Am I dead? Did I die? Oh shit, did I die? I a- I ain’t doing this again B- I love Resident Evil No, I’m still alive. Okay. Well that was, uh- that was quite a mess. She’s probably tightened it with fucking titanium now. We good? I think we good. It’s firmly screwed in place. Take the stove, take the fork. We just- We just fucking looting everything. Just steal everything. Oh, that looks fucking tasty, cunt. See I- I wan- I wanna eat some for a meme, but like, I’ve been attacked about two or three times now so I know having just one bite will just fucking kill me, so I can’t do it. I wanna do it for a meme, trust me But it’ll kill me I can’t- I can’t do this all over again. I’ve made way too much progress. An it said, “Man from the west then ravaged by birds.” Wait Actually That painting’s got birds, doesn’t it? Oh, that’s it. Okay yeah So Let me try a meme here, I’m gonna try a meme. Can I read it now? Oh yeah, okay. “First, death granted darkness to the man from the west. As the man traveled on, he gave of his flesh to four beasts of the earth. And when he arrived in the east, he was charmed black with ardent joy.” Right. Okay, wait. Wait (x4) I could- yay! Okay. Okay, I get the meme, I get the meme. He’s blind, so like, yeah First death granted darkness, the man from the west then he was, uh- ravaged by beasts and then he found a joy. What does that do? The fuck is this game, what are you showing me? A fucking man with oversized fork and spoon. Great. I mean I got a- I got a- I got a fucking fork. Oh I never saw that. What’s that? A snake? Snake. And what’s on the spoon? Is there something on the spoon? Snake.. and apple. Snake and apple, okay. Snake and apple, I’ll remember that. I don’t- I don’t really know what the symbolism is Snake and apple. Some fucking Adam and Eve bullshit right here. Is there a sn- oooh, okay. Okay. So Snake Apple Is there apple? There’s, oh yeah Cause if there’s not an apple, I’m pretty fucked. And there was like, a fucking leaf in the middle, wasn’t there? Boy. Boy, we are making progress. Making progress boys. Put that on there, can I.. Fuck off, yeah I- Fuck off. Put it on, put it on Is there anything here to interact with? Anything? I need a sign. What’s this? Use the- the painting? Painting just doesn’t work for shit to be honest. Okay, my hand like disembodies itself. But okay Oh, fuel. What are we gonna make a flamer or are we gonna fucking set some people on fire? You know what, I actually never thought of this. Oh hello. What is this, fucking Medusa? All these biblical references and these references to mythology, Capcom, are you trying to foreshadow some memes? I can’t touch them spiders Cause if I do that they attack me So I could Oh, why didn’t I try the fucking lighter? I- I didn’t try the lighter. That’s not gonna do shit, is it? No. He’s just like- I have this little flame It’s like Dark Souls level 1 pyromancy, nigga can’t do shit. Let’s try the stove Use an item on the stove. Lighter? Needs fuel before you can light it. *PICKS PAINTING* WOW OK Wait- did you just tell me I can’t use the fuel? I can’t use the fuel. What if I combine- Okay, yeah l- okay I gotta pick up the stove just to put a fucking tablet on it. Okay. Makes sense, Capcom, again I don’t- I don’t get this, this uh- this asian culture of video games. Hopefully this doesn’t make a lot of noise. That made a lot of noise. I got thirty-five seconds before she comes. I got a corkscrew. I don’t see what I could do with that. Painting, which one? That one Okay She’s gonna notice that locks gone, that’s not good. I- I don’t know what to do. I- the lock fell through the fucking map Shit I can’t do anything. I can’t do anything. I’ve got, uh- I’ve got to get back to bed. She’s gonna notice that, uh, locks gone on the door. I think, and she’ll slap me up like a little bitch and to be honest, you see the amount of health around my character right now? She’s gonna fucking instant kill me. Hello Marguerite. How’re we doing today? Listen Marguerite, there ain’t nothing here, girl. I- I checked every single room. Nothing- There we go. It worked. Everything seems in order, my boy. Would you like some more human soup? Cause it’s people. Marguerite, I’m gonna be quite blunt with you here, I don’t particularly like eating people. It’s not a nice experience. People. I don’t, r- I mean I’ll go to a KFC you know, eat a bit of chicken. Just not people. Alright. It’s- it’s not really my thing, to be honest. So, we gotta go back in here. I do apologize for the jelly screen a bit Cause I know I’ve been slapped around like a little bitch so I’ve lost quite a bit of health. Ahh, I gotta get the lantern. Totally forg- I keep forgetting about that lantern. So What’s this? *AH* I remember that. From the opening part of Resident Evil 7, when you cut the tape off the garage door. I guess we put it in here. Okay Okay I feel ya Now we got to like, put items on to fit the painting, haven’t we? So that’s uh- It’s definitely, definitely not that. Definitely not that. C’mon painting, apply yourself. It near- it nearly fits, guys. You just gotta look at it from a different angle. The lantern is fixed by a cork. What if we use the- *AAH* I see now Good Alright Lantern hook B, got ya. I can probably do the same with the other lantern hook, as well. Yeah yeah yeah, it’s got a fucking The- the, uh I’ve just noticed the lantern hook is kinda curly So, chances are I could probably use that on this, definitely. There’s like uh some kind of a meme for the puzzle. I’ve really just picked up on how I say meme way too much, so I do apologize for that. No, it’s no. It’s nearly there, but it’s not there at the same- Yeah yeah, it’s- it’s Nah.. Maybe, like, can I combine them or something It’s not there, uh Yeah Nice nice nice, this might work now. Yeah yeah, let’s give it a shot. Meme. It’s upside down. Meme. Memes memes memes Can we- can we do it? *FAP FAP FAP* To be fair, not to jerk myself off, I am making progress today. So with this one, I don’t know what to use for it, cause we already used that. It’s like a fucking- I- I’ve never- I don’t have an item like that in my inventory. I don’t have an item like that in my inventory. At all. Oh yeah, that- that clearly fits, guys. Look at that. So, so close. Nah, nah that was with the fuel, so I don’t have any more fuel. I don’t have an item that i- Hold the fucking phone. BOY Boy boy boy boy, does it- I’ll try it Boy When Valve makes Portal 3 I’ll be fucking ready for them puzzles My puzzle game is up, my nigga. And uh, snake key’s open. Not in here, darling. Nah nah nah nah, not me. Clancy, mind your fucking mouth boy. Fucking hell, girl. Use the knife, You’ve got a knife. Good boy. Stab a defenseless old woman. Video games do not encourage violence. I remember- Okay Yeah Okay Use the key, use the key Are- are you okay? Are- are you gonna be alright? I’m just gonna go down here, okay? I- I’ll catch you in a bit. Yeah, you should call a doctor or something, I think. I’ll catch you later, yeah? It’s nice knowing ya Is that- is that the end? *WOOH* That was, uh, pretty intense. We escaped the bedroom, and we stabbed an old lady in the throat. I- I can’t exactly encourage that but we did it anyway. Anyways guys, that’s pretty much it Thanks for watching, be sure to leave a like if you enjoyed, comment your thoughts and feelings, any kind of fanfiction you got down below. I really appreciate that. There is a lot of DLC for Resident Evil 7 I might do another video on it in the future. I know there’s some more story driven kind of DLC, so I might do something like that. It really just depends on how well this video does. Anyways, again thanks for watching, I really appreciate the support. I’m gonna go watch Shrek 3 I’ll catch you guys later. [The End] [Pyrocynical’s generic outro music] ♪ You try to be tough ♪ ♪ But your armor’s- ♪ *STAB* ♪ …just not good enough! ♪


  1. There's another story related mission I wanted to cover, should be up in a couple days unless this video does exceptionally shit
    thanks for watchin

  2. Was just watching ImAlexx , then this lesbian's video comes up. If only she was not a Lesbian, I would've been his boifriend

  3. i know that im 2 years late to comment this but are you sure that this wasnt your second succesful run. the achievement thats meant to pop when you finish, didnt appear

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